loving-kindness

beanieEverything really is going to be okay. (And if not okay, then at least comic.)

~ Elizabeth Gilbert

I decided to use a more personal photo for my 100th post. My beautiful daughter, reading Greek mythology in the heat of her brother’s soccer game (notice how she can’t be bothered to watch and is facing away from the field?) My little nine going on twenty-nine goddess, who challenges me daily and whose love opens me up in ways I never imagined. I always thought her personality so different than mine. She’s such a force of nature, charismatic and assured, where I am quiet and uncertain. But recently she told me about her worries, how she is always thinking, she can’t stop all the thoughts in her head and my heart hurt with the realization that she is very much like me.

She was exasperated about ‘Goodnight Moon’ yesterday. How can you say goodnight to nothing? She informed me that she skips this page when reading to her baby stepbrother at her Dad’s house. Why would you bring food to bed and mush at that? Who eats mush? And who leaves food next to their bed at night? Why would you leave the lights on in the dollhouse when you’re going to bed or leave a fire going, isn’t that a fire hazard?! The logical inconsistencies, safety issues, questionable aesthetic decor of the ‘Goodnight Moon’ bedroom… nothing escaped her single-minded deconstruction of the myriad failings of ‘Goodnight Moon’.

I wanted to apologize for the unfortunate hand I dealt her by inheriting my propensity towards rumination. But, at the same time, I was amazed by her intelligence and soft heart that she wouldn’t read a page she thought could in any way harm her six month old stepbrother. We share a struggle towards overthinking, but I know we share many blessings too. I pray we can both find our way towards practicing lovingkindness for ourselves. Humor helps and the quote above by Elizabeth Gilbert is so joyously true and funny. It’s a truth to hold onto in darker times. Never lose hope.

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